Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Loose Lucy

After a Sunday afternoon facial delight at Skin Thera P, I headed up to Manny’s On Second (formerly Blondie’s East) to meet Jimmy Whisk, Annie Smalls, and Annie’s boyfriend Otis for a little Sunday Funday action. As we ordered a pitcher of beer and a few bloody Mary’s, I caught Jimmy Whisk eyeing up the backside of a tall, attractive brunette in a tight, green t-shirt standing at the bar as our waitress repeatedly asked him what he would like to drink.

I kicked his shin under the table to get his attention, “Jimmy, you haven’t even had a beer yet. Keep your pants on and order a damn drink.”

Flustered, Jimmy quickly ordered a Heineken and immediately returned his focus to the girl at the bar.

“I think I slept with her,” he finally divulged. Before we could ask for further details, Jimmy had scooted his chair out from the table and beelined toward the mystery girl.

Annie, Otis and I carefully watched their brief interaction and couldn’t help but notice it was somewhat awkward, even from our seats across the bar. He swiftly returned to his seat at our table and immediately chugged his beer before any of us could ask what the hell kind of interaction the usually suave Jimmy Whisk had just had with the girl in the green.

Jimmy finally came up for air and admitted, “She had forgotten my name.”

As Annie, Otis and I cracked up, Johnny Fuego sauntered over to our table and pulled up a chair. Johnny Fuego was Jimmy’s childhood friend from Brooklyn who fought fire by day and moonlighted at Tin Lizzie on Saturday nights.

“Johnny, you’ll never guess who’s here,” Jimmy chuckled as he pointed towards the bar.

“It’s just some broad he slept with, which could be almost any semi-attractive, single girl with two breasts and most of her body parts intact that has walked through the doors of Mad River within the past six months.” I interposed, rolling my eyes.

“Actually, Jimmy and Lucy spent a very magical night together—after her he pilfered her away from me.” Johnny Fuego cynically stated.

“That’s pretty dick, Jimmy. You know Johnny never gets laid.” I said as I poured Johnny a much needed beer from our pitcher of Coors Light.

“So what happened with Lucy, anyways?” Annie Smalls asked.

“Well one Saturday night after I closed up Mad River, I headed over to Tin Lizzie to see Johnny,” Jimmy began. “When I got there I found him talking to this smokin’ girl named Lucy. So I pulled up a stool at the bar and joined in on the conversation. Johnny was too busy dancing on the bar and doing shots of Jameson to remind me that he had been casually dating this girl, so I took my fair shot at her. Plus, there was no way in hell Fuego would ever seal the deal with Lucy when it came down to it, anyways.”

“Asshole.” Johnny muttered under his breath as Jimmy continued his story.

“Wait so you knew Johnny liked her!?” I interrupted. “You are an asshole.”

Jimmy ignored our comments and carried on with his legend of Lucy, “It was getting late and I wanted to get the show on the road, so I told Lucy that Johnny wouldn’t be done closing up the bar for awhile and that I could walk her home. I could tell she was torn between waiting for Johnny and leaving with me, but I think we all know what she ended up choosing.”

“On the way home she mentioned hitting up a diner, but I knew it was best to just get her home—my home, that is. I made sure that we crossed Second Avenue before passing Midnight Express so she couldn’t sneak in the door and order the bacon, egg, and cheese she had been talking about since 86th street. When she saw we were passing the diner from the opposite side of the avenue and suggested we go in, I told her it looked way too busy and we would never be able to get a table, even at 4:30am,” Jimmy explained.

“She seemed disappointed and a little confused about the whole not having a reservation thing, so I suggested we just go back to my place and order in. It worked like a charm too. Before I knew it, she was on my couch kicking her shoes off and making herself comfortable.” Jimmy recounted with pride.

“I’m totally pulling the diner trick next weekend.” Johnny announced.

“So what happened next? You spoon fed her home fries and the rest is history?” I asked.

Johnny and Jimmy looked at each other knowingly.

“Let’s just say it turned into the most interesting late night snack I’ve ever had…”

Stay tuned to find out what made Lucy so loose…


Anonymous said...

jonny fuego sounds like a really sweet guy that just had a couple of bad breaks! he just needs some confidence!

Bacchus G. said...

Johnny Fuego is actually really hot! Stop by Tin Lizzie on a Saturday and check him out!

Jimmy said...

You write very well...compelling and captivating stories...some of these guys just don't get it...great blog, and I look forward to reading more.

Monica Llanes said...

You are a great writer... entertaining and funny, too!